Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Lesbian to English Dictionary



Lesbians have a culture and a language all their own. As a lesbian, you don't realize this until you are trapped in a room full of straight people and try to engage in conversation with them. Not small talk, but a real conversation.

In season 4 of The L-Word this was demonstrated by a game of celebrity played by a room filled half with lesbians and half with straight men and women. Celebrity is a game where everyone writes down the names of celebrities on separate pieces of paper, they are all thrown into a hat. Two teams are formed, one person on the team draws a name and has one minute to give clues that would lead the team to guessing the name.

The two different cultures didn't even know many of the other's "celebrities". Yes, they are all famous, but more famous within different groups.

I have always found that being around my lesbians is so much more enjoyable to me because they "get" me. They understand my references, and my humor and they can accurately assess what I'm saying.

Here's what I mean:




23 comments:

comfortandjoy said...

This made me laugh out loud! It's so true! But, I wonder, will the "Honorary Lesbians" get it?? ;)

TheWeyrd1 said...

I'm not gonna let you borrow my boots no matter how much you like them...

citizen of the world said...

Oh come on. I have never interpreted "can I bring my partner" as "I'm going to make you uncomfortable and watch you squirm." I'd take it either as someone letting me know they are gay, if I didn't already, or a straightforward question about bringing their partner. The compliments about clothing I'd take as compliments. Unless a man said them. Then I'd assume it meant he wanted to see me naked. Because I think that's what they mean with most of the things they say. But the packing one would have left me baffled, I admit.

(Oh and it is truw about not knowing alot of lesbian celebrities. then again, I'm a celebrity idiot and rarely watch Tv, so I don't know many of the straight world's celebrities either.

RED MOJO said...

cj, Thank you! Some of them might.

theweyrd1, that's what you say now...

cit, Please know that this is basically a shot at lesbians and how we "communicate" and is meant to be funny! I do not think all straight people are homophobic, and I know you aren't.
Thanks for pitching in your own sweeping generalizations about men! :)

Slip said...

Mojo ,maybe, just maybe you are a bit hetrophobic? Is that even a word?

RED MOJO said...

slip, Not even. It's humor people, or maybe a very poor attempt at it! Really, the lesbians are the brunt of more jokes than the breeders! Ha. :)

Slip said...

OK I reread the list of questions and answers. I think more like the lesbian answers then the straight ones.Except that one about packing, no strap on for this guy! In fact "I want to see your breasts," works as an answer for most of them!

Slip said...

I've seen some breeders that are walking jokes.

RED MOJO said...

Slip, LOL There you are! I missed you!

heartinsanfrancisco said...

This is great! I totally get it, and love it. Who knows? Maybe I have untapped (um) potential.

I read it to my husband (first and only mention) and he didn't get it. He will never be an honorary lesbian, poor soul.

RED MOJO said...

heartinsanfrancisco, Somehow I knew you'd get it. We share a very similar sense of humor, if not the exact same one! :)
You know what they say, "If you can't find a lesbian...make one!"

I believe the recipe is:
One straight woman
One cute lesbian
One bottle of wine/ or two as needed.

Certain Magician said...

How about if a lesbian says, "Nice Ass!" What's that mean?

comfortandjoy said...

CM: I'm shocked! NO lesbian would ever objectify a woman like that! Not a single one of us. EVER. It simply will not do.

Have you given in to the temptations of our patriarchal society? Have you lost your way?

Do you see women as merely a collection of body parts to ogle whenever you feel like it?

Have you forgotten the most important tenet of the lesbian code: "Always speak in code?"

"Nice Ass." Jeez.

You're not a REAL lesbian.

Certain Magician said...

My dearest cj, This from the same woman enticing red mojo to dwell on what might lie beneath her sports bar in the latest post?

I'm afraid you have jumped the gun, the comment was directed AT me, not made by me. ;)

btw you are the most adorable little marble, when you're pretending to be upset!

RED MOJO said...

Is it getting hot in here, or is it just me?

comfortandjoy said...

CM: Don't think you can sweet talk me. I am righteously indignant, in keeping with the lesbian code, which you obviously and incorrectly, think you can thwart with sweet words about my marble.

And, as to jumping the gun. I know you. Just b/c you have been on the receiving end of the "nice ass" comment, does not negate the thousands of times you've given it.

And as to enticing RM, I was continuing to be true to traditional lesbianism by being a complete and total tease. "All talk and no action." That's our motto.

Oh, and Magician?

Nice Ass.

comfortandjoy said...

RM: Just keep dwelling. I'll take care of this. ;)

Certain Magician said...

cj, Thousands might be a slight exaggeration. You seem extra-feisty today and not easily swayed by compliments. I like that in a woman!

I know you too, and you my dear, are definitely NOT all talk no action, despite the lesbian credo.

Thanks for the compliment, yours is pretty sweet too!

comfortandjoy said...

CM: you're right. I'm little talk and all action.

Don't tell my homo-homies though. I'll get kicked out of the club.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Wow. I feel like a little kid hiding on the stairs during an adult party.

I have been told many times that I have a nice ass, even a great one. You're not going to tell me to don a burka or a muu muu, are you?

tsduff said...

That is hilarious! Sorry I've been away for a spell - but man alive you really make me laugh.

Hmmm - I have about 4 nice flannel shirts in my closet.

RED MOJO said...

cj, I've dwelled and dwelled some more...I think my dweller's broken!
No one would kick you out of the club, you're way too cute.

heartinsanfrancisco, I feel like a kid on the stairs too! Thanks for sharing that you have a nice ass, too bad cj broke my dweller!

tsduff, Nice to see you here. Glad I made you laugh! (nice ass)

tsduff said...

You always make me laugh. Especially with that comment ha ha ha :D