Wednesday, February 4, 2009

25 Things I Hope I Haven't Told You Before

Yes...that's the spot!

Hey gang! If anyone still comes here...I've been away, probably should have been put away, but that's neither here nor there! It took me 47 years to discover that I do have a breaking point, but I'm slowly building my way back up to where I feel almost viable as a human again. I am living in California now. I have temporarily moved back into the house my ex-girlfriend and I shared for several years. She has been kind enough to give me a starting off point for my new happier life back in sunny California!

The seasonal affect thing was killing me, and that joined forces with a full-blown bout of "your-gonna-be-depressed-even-in-perfect-weather...with-dancing-girls!" That knocked me flat on my mental ass, as it were. It was the problem and the answer all rolled into one! I had to move why not back to the place I was not miserable, cold and depressed? Not what you'd call an epiphany, more of a needed morsel of common sense.

I'm here now, and fully expect to have a life again sometime soon. My sweet dog Winston has a torn ACL and needs surgery. It's expensive and I don't have any work yet. I'm not sure whether to pursue a J-O-B, or try to find some work (the kind I do), so I'm going to look for both and see what the universe throws at me, if anything! I know it's tough out there right now, but I don't have to worry about getting discouraged, because realistically, I'm starting from there.

I had all kinds of horrible and funny problems getting moved, and I have an entertaining story about breaking down on the side of the road in Arkansas while driving across the country to share with you once I get rolling again. Until then, I have been tagged with a list of 25 random or interesting things about me, and I like to roll them out now:

1. My stripper name, using that pet and street name formula is Cookie Collins.

2. I had a childhood crush on Doris Day.

3. Wilford Brimley gives me the Heebie-Jeebies.

4. I believe I may make my fortune winning the lottery, or writing erotica.

5. I learned how to fly a plane before I learned how to drive a car.

6. Every report card I got all through elementary school always had the same teacher comment: "Lacks self-control". This convinced me that the teachers only had 5 comments from which to choose, and the other 4 must've been:

Hoards crayons
Wets pants
Makes the line look like a snake
Eats paste

However, I couldn't convince my parents of that, and my father would FRICKEN LOSE IT when he saw that on there.

7. I love without limits, but some restrictions do apply.

8. I have always wanted a tattoo, and I think this is the year I'm going to get one.

9. I tear through a good book but read the last few pages really slowly because I don't want it to end.

10. Those cuffs they put around your arm and pump up to take your blood pressure, make me want to cry.

11. I once took a ladder and climbed up to the slant on the chimney, then jumped to my Mother's open bedroom window, grabbing it and swinging my leg inside, onto her dresser, which caused a huge bruise on my leg, and pulled myself inside, all so I could eat a banana. I'd locked myself out and was starving.

12. My cousin Katy and I used to think it was incredibly funny to read everything from the TV
Guide to the list of ingredients on a cereal box as if we were newscasters.

13. Growing up, whenever I got a new pair of sneakers, I used to pose them just so, and put them where I could see them as I fell asleep. I may still do that, I do love footwear!

14. A Swan chased me once while I was feeding bread to the ducks, I started running backwards, threw the whole loaf at it, but it just kept coming, then I screamed, and then tripped and fell. My step-dad scared it away before it actually started feasting on me.

15. I love corn on the cob, but need to floss immediately after eating it, I mean leave the table and go floss. I can't wait until after desert.

16. I had a pet squirrel named Harold when I was twelve. He lived in the house with us, free to roam around and go outside when he wanted to.

17. I rode a camel while in Morocco. He didn't have the best attitude, but never spat on me.

18. I have a very emotional response to really beautiful music. I get a lump in my throat, and sometimes cry.

19. I played the snare drum in the marching band at my high school. (band geek)

20. I am technology-dependent and wouldn't last a week without my ipod, or my computer.

21. I hear dead people.

22. I don't really hear dead people, but I can't resist injecting humor, even at the most inappropriate times. I can't help it, it's a "love me or leave me" kind of thing. Please don't ask me to write your eulogy.

23. Everyone can tell when I'm lying, my voice gets higher, and my upper lip sweats. I'm not good at poker either.

24. I've often wondered why there is no bean and cheese burrito flavored ice cream.

25. I love to cook delicious meals for people so I can hear them say, "Mmmmm, Oh Tracy, this is sooo good." Is that wrong?