When I became single for the first time in 10 years, and moved back to an area of the country I had not lived in for 25, I considered online dating a reasonable option for meeting other single lesbians. First I just browsed, just looking...thanks. Finally I found a woman I wanted to meet enough, for me to actually pay the fee to join the service. I emailed her, and she answered, I emailed back, this went on for a short while and then she had a family emergency and asked me to continue to email her even though she would not be able to respond for some time. I did for a while, but with no encouragement, I felt ridiculous and found I was now actively fending off several suitors who had no command of the English language. I know I have impossibly high standards, but being able to read, and write, and speak English is not negotiable. I would get emails to this effect, "what R U doin later." I suppose that would be acceptable as a text message, but not as an email. Whether it's stupidity or laziness, I'm not interested!
Next there was another woman who I'd corresponded with for a week or so, and we had determined we'd like to meet. We were in the middle of nailing down the where and when, when she stopped responding, just stopped! I waited a couple days, sent off a light reminder email, still nothing. Then I emailed this, "Hi, Are we done?" No response. I thought she died in a car accident or something. A couple of months later after meeting someone else, who I did decide to date, I was sending out some Thanksgiving Day e-cards and included the woman I suspected was dead in the list of recipients. She replied to the e-card this way. "Hi, I'm in a happy relationship now so please stop trying to contact me."
I responded, "Hi, I am seeing someone as well, I still wanted to wish you Happy Thanksgiving. My bad."
A month or two later, I saw her new picture and profile back on the match. Wow! It became obvious over time that a lot of the people on one dating service, are the same people on the other ones too. It also became clear that many of them are career daters. The same faces there literally for years. I started to make a game of matching them up with each other. Who are these desperate lonely women on a never ending search for love? I decided they were such a pathetic lot I preferred not to add my picture to their ranks.
I ran a profile without a picture for a while, and when someone responded, I'd ask to exchange pictures right away. After all, I'm not looking for an email buddy, I'm looking for a woman to have a relationship with. Attraction is an important part of that relationship. Some women would get offended by that, like it's crass, or superficial. Looks matter, anyone who says they don't is lying. Now I'm dipping my toe in the Chemistry.com site. I don't know if it's any different. It seems a little better, but I haven't joined yet. Just looking...Thanks.