Tuesday, January 22, 2008

The question is...

When do you tell her...you blog? When you meet someone, a romantic interest that is, at what point should you share that you have a blog? This is a question that deserves special consideration for the following reasons:

  • Blogging is seen by some, as kind of dorky

  • If you tell her too soon, and things don't work out, you can't blog about it

  • If you don't tell her for a long time, she may be displeased at your secrecy, and wonder what else you're hiding

  • If you tell her at exactly the right moment, she may read your blog, not like it, and think you suck

  • If you don't tell her at all, and she finds out, then...you're screwed

So, is there a marker, a definate event, a point at which the telling should be done?

Is it when:

  • You're making her eggs after your first night together?

  • You've discussed forsaking all others?

  • You've moved in together?

  • You start looking like each other?

For all of those who read this post and are not lesbians, I should explain the previous bullet points could also be labeled:

  • 1st date

  • 2nd date

  • 3rd date (the one that doesn't end)

  • 2 months along

A little help people. Someone throw me a bone.


TheWeyrd1 said...

I think that if the first date goes really well, like you agree to a second date (btw, you agree that the first and second dates ARE dates). Then during the second date when discussion rolls around to things you like to do (as in hobbies...not other things you like to do) THEN would be a good time to mention you blog. If she reads your blog and thinks you suck for it...then SHE sucks and you move on. The End.

RED MOJO said...

theweyrd1, Wow, you're all serious and stuff! Suppose this hypothetical woman already knows my hobbies etc. and I know hers, from the "plentyoffish" site, hypothetically speaking. You're funny! The end.

TheWeyrd1 said...

Sorry...psych hat magically appeared on my head. Happens regularly. And if you mention your blogging habit (I mean hobby) in your profile on the plentyoffish site, hypothetically speaking, then the "you suck" types will weed themselves out. Problem solved...hopefully. The End.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

I would hold off for awhile, not because blogging is dorky but because if she is not The One but provides wonderful story material, you would then have to start a third blog that she didn't know about.

And that could get old. To say nothing of confusing for you.

maitre d'izzle said...

Love the "straight" legend. So, I agree with heartinsanfran.. Hold back till on more solid footing. Of course this is mostly driven out of my own humor pleasures.
So, what is with the wheelchair accessible word verification box to log in?

RED MOJO said...

theweyrd1, I think I'll go with later rather then at the get go, for the reason of, well, you know, blog material.

heartinsanfrancisco, I agree. I'm holding off for a bit. I'll just be all nonchalant about it, when I finally do mention it.

maitre d'izzle, It's always about you!
I have no idea what you're talking about with the wheelchair accessible word verification box. I don't have word verification do I? I'll go shut it off, if it's enabled.

Ces said...

First my question is who are these models in your photographs?

Secondly, what is wrong with blogging? Tell her you blog to earn money. People who visit your site are automatically enrolled and charged an annual fee.

Another thing, you can say anything you want in any of your blogs, they are your blogs after all and if someone gets offended then they don't have to read.

RED MOJO said...

Ces, The women in the photos are from a tv show on showtime called the L-Word.
There's nothing wrong with blogging, It's more of a smart assy humor piece, than a real concern, which is the point of this blog.
Also, you are right about saying anything I want in my blog, but I've grown rather attached to the people who frequent my blog and feel if I offend them, they'll stop coming to visit, which is why a second one where I can be a little edgier, seemed like the perfect solution.
Thank you for visiting.

Boo7 said...

LOL I liked heartsinsanfrancisco's respones....yeah, a third blog would start to get old!! As for an answer to your question...I suck cuz I have none!! Play it by ear...no,no not her ears....well that too if the opportunity presents itself!! **wink**

M said...

I showed my blog to my exgirlfriend in a lovely night after said her that I didn't have secrets with her, a couple of years after breaking. "Thats my open soul, you're there, I hope you understand me more than ever when you read it"
I'm so regretful cause I've become transparent to someone who isn't.
I think I will not show it again since I have a strong and solid relationship. No more mistakes =)


(sorry my english.. it's sooooo poor)

RED MOJO said...

boo7, Thanks for stopping by and putting in your 2 cents. It's nice to hear from you.

m, I appreciate your visit, and your comment. You are exposed when someone reads your blog. It can make you feel vulnerable. I understand that. I went to your blog and tried to use a translator to read it, but you have very deep and philisophical posts, and I fear they don't translate easily. Thank you for commenting here.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Since we're on the subject, who is the beautiful brunette in your header with the great biceps and deltoids?

She makes me wish I were gay.

RED MOJO said...

heartinsanfran, Yes, she is gorgeous. Her name is Katherine Moennig. The photo is from the Showtime hit,"The L-Word" The blond in the picture is Kristanna Loken, also scorchingly hot. They coupled up in Season 4 of the show. (last year)

tsduff said...

I didn't have to worry about it because my Love was making a blog himself, and when I saw it, I wanted to make one of my own. The poor thing has suffered through all the stages of mine, and now he hardly ever visits. He likes to read PostSecrets better. I like this new blog of yours (new to me anyway). Ha ha to theweyrd1 about blogging "habit"... so true :)

kj said...

about the 3rd date that doesn't end, doesn't that happen on the first date sometimes? or is it just me? and what's with sharing info over eggs? i've never thought to do that...


RED MOJO said...

tsduff, If you like it here, I'm glad you found it! Now I have two blogging monkeys on my back!

kj, yes, it does sometimes. It did to me once, shhhhh. So there's no talking at breakfast over at your place?

CS said...

I made the decision when I re-entered the dating world NOT to tell. Maybe ever. So here I am 8 months into a relationship and I haven't mentioned it. Because ther are folks in my life I wish I had not told, but who appear to be prepard to follow my blog forever. And it feels kind of intrusive. And I want to be able to write about teh bad times. And, eventually I'm sure, the break-up.