It seems a lot has changed in the Lesbian culture, since I was "in circulation". I have been spending some time the AfterEllen.com web page, where the main topic of conversation is how the media has changed towards lesbians since Ellen came out. It is a great source of information on lesbians in TV, movies, on stage, on tour, basically all things celesbian (celebrity lesbian) in nature. They also have forum topics and vlogs that people can comment on. Recently while reading some comments, it became clear to me that a lot of lesbians have sub-divided into smaller categories, and labeled themselves even further. I call these lesbians, specialists.
I hate to sound crotchety here, but when I was young, we were mostly androgynous, some a little to the masculine side, some a little to the feminine, but none of that really mattered. Sure, there were a few couples that did the butch/femme thing. That was considered mimicking heterosexual behavior to most of us, and we didn't want to go there.
I never had trouble finding sexually compatible mates, because pretty much all of us, did pretty much everything! I call these all-around lesbians or versabians.
Now it seems like the girls are putting themselves into categories that limit them sexually, and they have to find oppositely inclined limited partners to fulfill them.
A top needs a bottom! Well, every self-respecting lesbian would certainly want to claim to be a top, so where are all the bottoms?
Even women who are feminine in appearance, are claiming to be tops, really, I'd like to know who the bottoms are.
There are stone butches, hard butches, soft butches, androgen, sporty femmes, femmes, and what? femmy femmes or lipsticks? Does everyone have an equal and opposite match?
Are you kidding me with this?
Attractive versabian seeks same for everything under the sun. Please bring your own toothbrush.
7 comments:
Who figures this all out? I mimic heterosexual behavior all the time, well most of the time anyways.And I thought it was hard to put a label on a 57 year old workaholic white guy who shaves his head.
slip, I'm not sure what type of lesbian a 57 year-old-white-guy would be, but I'll look it up and get back to you!
i understand very little of this! i obviously know alot of lesbians--some masculine, some feminine, most and many somewhere in between--like the rest of the world--but i don't know all these catagories and layers (haha--an unintentional multi-word use!)
is this the dating scene i am clueless about?
:)
I too have noticed the trend toward micro-specialization orientation. I think it's an offshoot of the internet age in general. Before the net you got what you got in your own backyard and you couldn't afford to be picky OR limit yourself. Now the whole wide world is at your service and now you need to make yourself stand out in a rather crowded field. I mean 10% of the 100 people in you neighborhood times 51% female is like 5.1 to choose among. Now it's 25% (more out of the closet factor) of millions times 51% women and so little time...
kj, I'm completely at a loss as well. Oh what a world, what a world...
theweyrd1, You make a good point. I didn't think of that. Well, there you go, still I think they may be unnecessarily limiting their experiences, hence enjoyment, but maybe I'm wrong. God knows I've been wrong before.
Just today a patient said to me about their gay doctor, "I think he's the girl in that couple." And I thought, What the hell does that even mean? Why can't he just be one of the men in that couple? Silliness.
lol couldn't agree with you more RM.....the identity diversity always confused the bejeebus outta me!! I like your term....versabian....hehehe being your own toothbrush....priceless!
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