Wednesday, February 27, 2008

m and other letters all together like a story but different

Me when I was five or six. (A normal play day, not Halloween.) photo-shopped onto a picture of my Indian when I first bought it, and captioned, "Cowgirl gets her Indian"

I guess I started to write a new post last night and only got an "m" typed when I hit post by accident, but didn't realize it, so there you have it. Slip actually made a very funny comment considering!

Whenever I'm wondering what to post about I can't think of anything. Nothing, yet I know that I could literally write a post about anything, and make it fun. Why is it so hard when I sit down to do it. Let's explore my anxiety about writing...nah, that sounds like a snorefest! What a monumentally stupid idea. Instead I'll tell you an entertaining little story about myself as a child, that may have altered my sense of self, or not.

When I was young, probably...five, I liked to play with things like 'hot wheels' and tonka trucks and GI Joe, and cap-guns, and stuff you find outside, like bugs, and rocks. Yes, I actually sought bugs out! I would go behind the garden in the corner of the back yard, where there were piles of wet leaves laying around, and carefully pull them apart looking for bugs, and I found 'em. You could also find them under rocks etc. I found praying mantises, centipedes and walking sticks, and all kinds of cool things, then I would watch them, but they never seemed to do enough to hold my attention for long.

I also loved rocks, we had a lot of rocks in our yard, and I would find the interesting ones and take them to my boulder sticking out of the ground a little. I would place the new rock on the boulder and then with a bigger "smashing rock", I would smash it! I called this activity "smashing rocks" and I would announce it like I was going to work. "Okay, I'll be out back smashing rocks."

I liked to see what was inside them. We had a lot of quartz around and I liked those a lot.

One evening, my parents had some friends over to play cards, as they did once or twice a week. It was shortly after Christmas, so I began to run into the kitchen where they were all seated to show the Terva's my presents. They would oooh and ahhh, and I would go get the next thing. After doing this for a while, I grabbed a red purse, my mother had retired and given to me. When I showed it to them, they asked, "Did you get that for Christmas?"

"No, but I like it" I answered. Gales of laughter rang out from everyone. I didn't understand what was so funny about that! I went back to my room in a huff, and decided not to show them anything else. Serves them right!

How did this affect me? For years I refused to carry a purse.

I do carry one now, and it's red, but it's canvas and it's made by Vitorinox, and has lots of pockets, and I call it my "man-bag". Okay, maybe it didn't affect me at all, but it was fun to tell.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Saturday, February 23, 2008

You Know Best: The Academy Awards

The Oscars are upon us, but before they arrive, let's see if you can correctly predict the outcome. I have entered the nominees for Best Picture, Best Actor, and Best Female Actor. Take the poll to see if together, we can come up with the winners!

Of course if I had my way, and most likely if you had yours, we would have a few different choices or nominees, but these are the only choices. Check back Monday to see how we did. Thanks for playing.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

7 Things About Me: Food Edition

I was self-tagged by that mean ol Creampuff, roro, for this meme (which means I decided to do it myself) and I will now commence to do something about it!

1. My very most favorite dish ever is...butternut squash ravioli, as prepared by Il Fornaio Restaurant. Il Fornaio is a chain (I usually hate chains) of authentic Italian restaurants brought here from Italy by Williams Sonoma who later sold them. There are many peppered around California, even one in Walnut Creek where one of my blog buddies lives. There is also one in Greenwood Village, CO which may be close to another blogger I know. If there is one nearby, and you have not had this dish...what are you waiting for? GO!

2. Egg salad will induce vomiting immediately if introduced to my mouth, sometimes just the smell is enough. If you have eaten this, or hard-boiled eggs, or deviled eggs, or anything involving cold boiled eggs, do not plan on kissing me until you have brushed your teeth, flossed, gargled with mouthwash and eaten at least 3 Altoids.

3. I love a really good, and by good I mean creamy-rich-fattening, Tiramisu. I consider myself quite the Tiramiconnoisseur. I order it anytime I'm in a decent restaurant, and it's listed on the desert menu. I seem to be on a quest for tiramisuperfection. I'll let you know if I find it.

4. Wonderful junk food, Flips; pretzels dipped in chocolaty goodness, Funny bones, those cheese crackers with cheese filling (not peanut butter, the more common filling), Choco-tacos; oh my those are good, and Smartfood or Smartassfood when I'm eating it.

5. Home made macaroni and cheese, simple but soooo comfortylicous.

6. I love Chorizo sausage, but I haven't eaten any mammals since 1990, so now I eat Soyrizo. Soy is like a Cho but different. I love this made into a hash with some poached eggs and biscuits. MmmmmmMmm.

7. I don't do hairy food, peach skin, okra, anchovies, etc.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Which Super Hero is Right for You?

If I were going to have a super hero girlfriend, it had better be someone I will have no problems remaining faithful to, or staying with for...until she tires of me. I think we all learned a valuable lesson from the movie "My Super Ex-Girlfriend". No one wants a great white shark hurled at them while they're getting busy with their new sweetie!
But honestly, who would kick Uma Thurman out of bed?...certainly not me, but if it did have to be, I wouldn't do it, and there is certainly no sense in me wasting anymore time wondering how to let poor Uma down gently! AS IF!

I took the quiz, and was paired with Psylocke, a mutant from the X-Men series with telepathic and telekinetic powers, whose occupation is listed as, "Adventurer, Ninja, Heiress, Multi-Millionaire, Assassin, fashion model."

So in this pairing, I have to be extra-careful because she can not only read my mind, but she can throw shit at me with hers! And if that doesn't get the job done she's a ninja, and if she doesn't want to break a sweat, by throwing a star at me, she could just as easily hire the job out with her ass-loads of money, or possibly just stop my heart with a look! Yes honey, dinner will be on the table when you get home. Ahhhh, love.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Who ARE You?

Gaydar, with its time tested HIGH degree of accuracy sometimes lets us down. The reasons for this can vary. The subject in question may be waffling themselves, or might not be aware of their own gayness yet. I found this to be true in college. My gaydar found at least 10 freshman lesbians who had no idea they were lesbians until their sophomore or junior years! Does that mean the gaydar is faulty? I think not, however not 100% accurate either. I also met a woman once who had me seriously questioning my gaydar, when she constantly set it off, but was married to a man, who she loved very much! I later discovered that he used to be a she, and they were high school sweethearts. Wow!

However, no matter how finely honed my gaydar may be, it does not work on people I have no contact with. People like you, my blogaudience. I know the people who comment here, some lesbians, some straight women, one straight guy, but there are many more visiting and not saying a word. Who are you? Are you more lesbians, housewives, bi-curious women, straight guys looking for girl on girl videos, photos, whatever you can find, teenage boys just chasing the word lesbian all around the Internet on your Dad's computer? To help me determine my demographic I'd like you to answer the following poll questions honestly. You do not have to sign in, or comment to vote in the poll. Thank you for your cooperation!

Valentine's Day Hook-Up

I am hooking you all up to this post written by the very funny and talented Karman Kregloe, featured on Valentines: We Know Better Than Cupid

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Letter to Cupid...

Dear Cupid,

Please don't take this the wrong way, but I think you are a steaming pile of dung with rotten aim, or a vicious sense of humor. Personally, I'd like to you see take that whole pack of arrows and shove 'em, and you can do the same with your messed up little holiday too! Single people don't have enough days to feel lonely, depressed, and inadequate, we need a day that really drives it home, to truly make it fester, so we can wallow, and start looking for sharp objects to throw ourselves on, or worse, eat mass quantities of ice cream, or chocolate, or macaroni and cheese or any other food that feels like love while you're eating it, and turns to guilt, and then fat, afterwards.

Maybe I should've written you earlier with a specific request, or perhaps just expressing my desire for your attention would have done me some good. I'm willing to recognize my part in this. Maybe you thought you were done with me and moved on, but surely you knew there was a chance, that the married woman you hit with your arrow, would not dishonor her commitment, just to be with her true love, and I would be left alone with nothing, cold and lonely, and empty inside, like Larry Craig must feel when he lies down next to his wife each night.

I am willing to give you another chance, and this time please aim more carefully, consider... before you shoot, the outcome. Here are some suggestions that might help.

I'd really like something along these lines:

You know, intelligent, witty, fun to be with, healthy, spicy, creative, spontaneous, and gorgeous doesn't hurt. I realize this is late notice for this Valentine's Day, but if you could make this happen between now and the next one, that would certainly be a feather in your cap. If you are not so inclined, please follow the instructions in the first paragraph, and make it sideways!

Skeptically yours, Red Mojo

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Life is Funny...

Sometimes things just don't work out the way you want them to. It's believed by some, that if you know what you want, and ask for it, the universe will give it to you. Is there a trick though? Is it like the story of the monkey's paw, where if you aren't terribly specific with your wish, you'll get screwed? I mean, is it what you know you want, or what you ask for? Things don't have to actually be said, just known, right?

Well, the way I see it, I am the only one who is going to make sure I get what I want. I have a list, and it's specific. Some items are negotiable, some are not! I can trade this for that, remain flexible, make compromises, to a point. Once I reach that point, I need to move on.

What am I talking about? Dating. To me dating is a series of interviews, a weeding out process. Some are weeded out in the first 5 minutes, others take more time. There are several different components that need to work.

1. Chemistry
2. Compatibility
3. Communication
4. Comedy

The four C's.

Chemistry is the easiest to determine. It's either there or it's not! If it is, you need to delve further.
Communication is a tough one. It takes some time, but you can determine potential fairly quickly.
Compatibility is hard at first too. People are more accommodating when they first meet than they may be later, and Comedy can be strained at first by nerves, but not for too long. I need to laugh! I think fun!

If you don't have these four essential ingredients, your relationship will fail. Yes, you can stay with someone until you die without all four, but to be happy, you need them all, at least I do. But, things can become complicated quickly and before you know it, you're closing your eyes to all kinds of signs or red flags that it's not going to work.

I do not feel I have enough time left on this planet to waste my time starting off in a relationship by settling for less than I want and need.
Could I die alone? Most definitely.
Will I let fear make me settle? Absolutely Not!
Do I hate hurting people, and being hurt myself? You bet.
Will I keep trying to find true love? Until I die, or find it. I'm hoping for finding it, actually, long before I die if possible!