Saturday, September 20, 2008

Mom, is that you?



Yesterday morning I had an admin day. I finished a big job on Thursday and had to make phone calls, pay bills, and of course like all good admins, stack wood! I was sitting on the couch in my P.J.s and my Dogs were out on the deck catching some morning rays.
My dogs bark at every car and walker that passes by the foot of my long driveway. They put me on full alert when someone new even enters the zip code, so I don't pay much attention to the frequent half-hearted rounds of territorial barking, but then they went code red! I got up and walked out onto the deck and saw a van pulling up the driveway. One of those metallic green Dodge Caravans that half the population owns, one exactly like Mom's.


Hmm, I Wonder what Mom is doing here so early, and unannounced, I mused. The van pulled up and parked sideways to the deck and I saw an elderly woman in the passenger side window. That's odd, I thought, Mom wouldn't bring someone up here without warning me. Then the side door swung open, a gaggle of well-dressed old ladies peered up at me through five sets of thick glasses. "Hello. We're bible teachers!" the closest one yelled up. By this time Cody, my twelve and a half year old, cute as a button, yellow dog who has never bitten anyone, had reached the driveway and was heading toward the van, still barking.
"Stay in the van!" I shouted holding out my arms to emphasize the point. "I wouldn't want anyone to get bit!" They eyed Cody nervously. Winston, my ninety pound Newfie mix, who can't use stairs, but they didn't know that, was barking from up on the deck.


They continued to shout from the van, something about confidence, when I yelled back down, "I'll vote my confidence. Thanks, have a nice day! Peace be with you!" They got the message, slid the door shut and retreated. I wondered if it was possible that someone who read my Sarah Palin post had called (1-800-Bible-Thumpers) and sent them to save me. In my opinion it was the dogs who saved me. All those years of buying kibble finally paid off!

13 comments:

TheWeyrd1 said...

So what you're sayin' is...I should stop trying to get Tucker to stop barking at all the people that walk by within sight of the balcony...right!?!

RED MOJO said...

theweyrd1, ehhh...that wasn't the point, but yes, stop doing that!

tsduff said...

Bravo - saved by the bark! My Tobin is so deaf he sleeps right through the people at the door half the time.

Baino said...

Haha what good doggies. Mine only barks at rabbits! Useless lump of lard.

citizen of the world said...

Great escape. I wonder if I could use my gerbils to scare off proselytizers?

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Dogs can smell shit a mile away. And then they usually roll in it.

Great story, vicious dogs and all.

I had very little trouble with Jehovah's Witnesses and their ilk when I had a gray wolf and a Bouvier, both pussycats, but people who fear the Lord (and dogs) usually think that the bigger the dog, the more dangerous it is. I have never disabused such people of their theory, which is dead wrong. they are far more likely to be bitten by the itsy bitsy ankle yappers.

RED MOJO said...

tsduff, Cody is old, but he can hear a slice of cheese being unwrapped from 500 feet.

baino, you'll never have a bunny infestation!

cit, I'm thinking the snake would have worked a little better! Of course you could just say he got loose somewhere.

heartinsanfranciso, My dogs sound dangerous. That seems to be good enough. :)

Slip said...

Did the old girl have inverted nipples? GET OFF MY PORCH! Poke,Poke!

roro said...

Such smart dogs!! That must be some good kibble...

RED MOJO said...

slip, Ha! I didn't think to ask!

roro, They are very smart, and extremely good judges of character!
As for the kibble, I feed them the Iams IQ boost and shiny coat variety.

Reluctant Blogger said...

I'm never sure why Bible bashers don't call at my house. I don't have dogs - just a guinea pig. But they often do all the other houses on this street and avoid mine.

QueenofPlanetHotflash said...

1 800 bible thumpers now thats hilarious stuff

RED MOJO said...

reluctant, Thanks for visiting. Maybe it's that "Trespassers will be eaten alive!" sign on your gate!

queenofplanethotflash, thanks for visiting, that's a great name!