Wednesday, July 8, 2009

A little help please...



Came to blow the dust off my blog. I have neglected it terribly. It's not that I don't want to write, or share, I've just been a little hung up.

Without going into too much detail, let's just say that when you're "on the fence" between two women, if you take too long to jump to one side or the other, you might just slip and fall, impaling yourself there, and feeling the life slip from your body as you watch them both disappear from view. I hope that wasn't too metaphorical!

I find myself wading through the psychological minefield, of being unemployed for months, unable to pay my bills or support myself. Feeling like a burden, having a broken heart, in two places, and hating my own guts. Now might not be the best time to stop taking the anti-depressants.

I'm finding that I've grown sick of feeling sorry for myself, and sick of the impostor that seems to have inhabited my shell. I don't know who she is, and I don't like her! I want my life back!

I need the me that is in perpetual motion. The one that can't sit still. The one that moves mountains everyday, as a matter of course. The fearless one, who bets it all on herself. Where is she? The search has begun. I'll keep you posted!

8 comments:

Baino said...

Well look who's back. Everytime I go over to VE's I think of you. Sounds like we've both been through the lost job malaise although I've escaped the broken heart bit. I don't think I'd have coped with both. Good for you kiddo getting back on the horse!Sometimes it's damn hard to stay positive . . look at it this way, things can only get better! Missed you!

RED MOJO said...

Baino, Thanks so much! You're always here, even when I'm sure no one remembers me! Luck to us both!

TheWeyrd1 said...

Welcome back...next time blog about it ahead of time...like before you impale yourself...heh.

breathethenexhale said...

As a new reader I probably dont have enough information to say this but I suspect that had you been the real you with these two women you would have been able to choose easily!!!

RED MOJO said...

theweyrd1, Hi! Glad you're still around. If I'd talked about it before, you'd have given me a bunch of advice I wouldn't have listened to anyway... LOL

breathethenexhale, hello, and welcome. Ummm, you are wrong, but given that you know none of the circumstances involved, you were going way out on a limb there.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

It will all pass, even though I know that's easy for me to say. The real you is still in there and will come back from these setbacks better than ever. I hope it's soon.

Sending hugs.

RED MOJO said...

heartinsanfrancisco, Thank you so much for your kind words and the hugs. I miss you. I need to blog more, and start reading again too. I like reading! Reading is good.

I'll come visit your blog soon. Really. I'm starting to feel more like the old Red all the time! :)

heartacheorheartburn said...

glad to see you writing again. i wondered if you would come back. i missed reading your words.